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Death makes us appreciate familyPosted by admin on September 17th, 2009

It’s all over the news. The Jasper family was told by a liason officer that their son, Sergeant Jesse Jasper, had been killed in Afghanistan. It wasn’t until Jesse’s girlfriend saw the condolence group on Facebook that she called the Jasper family to let them know Jesse was still alive. Jesse called his family and his father said, in an outpouring of gratitude, "Oh my God, you’re alive, I love you, I love you, I love you, you’re alive."

Faced with never seeing his son again, this father’s love and appreciation was amplified. I think love has way of doing that to all of us. In death, even the shabbiest of relatives can become a good guy. Good people become heroes. Death puts things in perspective, puts away the conflicts and disagreements of the past.

Funny thing is, death is always there. It’s in the future for all of us. But we don’t apply it to our lives until it actually occurs to someone close to us. But what if we thought about death more? What if we pondered our loved ones’ absence more often? I am not suggesting we all put on black eyeshadow and recite Edgar Allen Poe, but I am suggesting we look at the brief nature of life and treat our loved ones accordingly.

The other day in rush-hour traffic, I had a waking nightmare about one of my kids getting hit by a car. When I got home, I put my arms around that child and held them for a half-hour.

While I hope we won’t dwell on death and mourning, I do hope we will cherish every moment we have with our loved ones. Ironically, I think being aware of death is one of the secrets to great living.

How Families Deal with TragedyPosted by admin on September 14th, 2009

Losing one family member unexpectedly is hard enough. One Brooklyn, NY, family has lost two young children in the last five years. This week, the Ganzfried family laid their 9-year-old son to rest just five years after the accidental drowning of his younger brother. Of course, this family isn’t the first to suffer such tragedy. Many have suffered much worse. But it does lead one to ponder how these families cope with such tragedy.

As a father of four young boys, losing a child is one of my greatest fears. I am a devout Christian and believe that my children would be fine. I worry about my own soul more than theirs. And as a Latter-day Saint, I believe our family bonds cannot be broken by death. But I still dread the thought of going through life without these little people I have come to call my TV-watching buddies, game-playing buddies, exercise buddies, and best friends. I live and work to see them outlive me, have their own family, and live a full life. It is the loneliness of not seeing them or hearing their voices that frightens me most.

So when I hear stories like this one from Brooklyn, it makes me wonder how these families cope. The Ganzfried family cites their faith in God as their main source of comfort. Other families find a cause to advocate; they are galvanized into crusaders. Still others don’t cope at all, but carry the sadness and guilt the rest of their days.

I have lost close friends, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I hope I never have to experience losing a child or my wife. Ultimately, I am a selfish man. These people are the light of my life and I cling to them as such. Here’s hoping I never have to know life without them.

Does murder run in the family?Posted by admin on September 13th, 2009

Is it possible that a murderer could have inherited his thirst for blood from his family? For Diamond Blair of Baltimore, Maryland, that would seem to be the case. Blair, 33, recently implicated in the June killing of a robbery victim, is the son of a convicted murderer, the brother of an alleged murderer, and the nephew of one of the cities worst known serial killers, a man who killed six women in 2004. For Blair, this charge is only the most recent in a string of crimes which have become increasingly violent since his first arrest at age 6 for stealing.

Cases like these tend to raise questions about nature versus nurture. Does the Blair family suffer from a genetic disorder that makes them predisposed to violence? Or are their homicidal tendencies the result of their upbringing and the moral decay of their environment? If you have criminals in your family tree, does it make you more likely to go bad? We know that vices like alcoholism are passed down from generation to generation. Is murder?

What do you think? Nature or nurture? Fate or choice?